how soon is now?

christmas is over, but donut's pressie is STILL with me!! hmph!

these days, celebrating christmas, new year, cny or any other festive seasons, arent the same anymore.. it wasnt the same since 5 years ago actually. werent the same since mum left.. come to think of her, celebrating alone, it must be heart-aching.. i wonder when will i see her again, hopefully soon, but how soon is soon? *gotta work extra hard then.. *

year is coming to an end, and as each year passes by, i would say.. 'time really flies!' and what have i done so far? dunno.. eventho i felt happier now, working in production especially, i got more "time" for myself, can eat a proper lunch and dinner now, but still not enough time for my family.. everyday, i will remind myself that i should see dad more, talk more to gramma and grampa, spend more time with sis and bro, but end up.. none. yes, may be new year's resolution will be this. =)

[music on air]
time is running out - muse

[current mood]
-

[quote of the day]
there's nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so.

[next station]
pick up elme from work and go straight home.

it's all about my work. and my tougue!

:: two down, one more to go! yes, surprisingly we managed to produce 3 jobs in a month - with only 1 team. it's very very tiring but yet it's fun! imagine you're sitting right under the sun, creating a zebra crossing using black and white sticker, the wind was so strong that at times u almost lost balance. yes, that strong. and guess what, right after all your hard work under the sunny day, getting all tanned, [or should i say 'baked'?] just as you final touch up the set, the rain came like nobody's business, a storm!! *cry!* it almost ruin our shoot, but with the help of our "weather engineer", it stops after 5 mins and all of us, quickly mop the floor, wipe the cars and there we go! =) yet another challenging experience for the possiblist...

:: just came back from butterworth yesterday night, bringing back the freshly moulded chocolates, i felt like i was in the willy wonka and the chocolate factory movie minus the oompa-loompa! heh! i have wear this shower-cap, plastic to cover my shoe and glove before we go into the factory. the moment mr chew, the manager opens up the door, i can smell all chocolatey! finding the best looking chocolate aint easy, we need to get the ones with its surface untouched, no scratches, shiny and clean. unfortunately, they need to use their hand to get the chocolates out from the mould so out of 100, i think i only got 4-5 pieces that meets our requirements. after chosing the 'lucky ones' [all together about 100 pcs] we then carefully transfer them into pizza boxes that we brought, and then drive slowly back to kl, with air-con full blast so that we can keep up with the factory's temperature, which is pretty cold. mission - accomplished. =)

:: oh btw, i've decided to take out my tougue stud yesterday night, and it feels so weird right now, my tougue felt lighter and when i talk, i cant pronounce my words properly cos something is missing oredi.. but yea.. i will get used to it soon... =) probably will get my nose pierced soon.. hehhe...

[music on air]
perfect situation, weezer

[current mood]
frustrated [everyone's in prime minister's residence now shooting but me!!]

[quote of the day]
'hanging on hope in quiet desperation. for long u live and high u fly, and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry, and all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be'

[next station]
here at my workstation [yes, im a master on continuity in the office]

time is running out

caught up with my long-lost friend yesterday… it’s been a long… long time ever since we had our teh-o-ais together… i missed how we used o see each other EVERYDAY, how we used to annoy each other, laugh at each other’s joke, how I miserably easily learned ‘the-skill/art-of-liquid-dance’ from him [hiakhiakhiak]!!!

yea.. those were the days, when everything seems to be on my side, everything was so well ‘written’, everything’s just… beautiful. but somehow, these ‘perfect-moments’ have slipped away, like how the sands got washed away by the waves of the ocean, but to me, it’s more like how i got the sand out from my eye.

to become who we are, and to become who we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life. and if you can’t change fate, change your attitude! it is what i’ve done, words that i chose to pronounce, decisions that i’ve made, brought me here today, believing that life is just like a silver-screen. all of us, we’re the actors/actresses – indeed, we play our own main role/character, as we the center of everything that evolve around us – here. the locations that we chose to visit, sceneries were captured in one corner of our mind just like a wallpaper as our screensaver on our desktop. sounds were ‘recorded’ and just like what my friend charlotte has said in one of her post, every different song gives you a different feeling and it brings you back to that very moment you’ve experienced before. you may feel good about it, and at times, it will just f*ck your day up.

i believe that each and everyday that we’re going thru – even now, at this very moment – is reversed. whatever we say or do has already been said and done. it is funny when speaking thinking writing about this, i know…

i remember one night, about 4 or 5 years ago, i spent about an hour or so with a friend of mine, thinking about thinking, talking about what we have just talked about. and we came across this question, which i’d never thought anyone would even ask themselves about, since i was 12. [!?]

“why me?” i asked.

“what why you? now. why me?” my friend asked.

“i mean, why is it me. like why am i feeling what i feel, seeing what i see, hearing what i hear... u get me?”

“yea, i think so… it’s like a feeling u cant express, u cant explain why. u just need all these to survive.”

silence…

“i’d say… we’re all like batteries. we need these to generate the entire system that we’re living in. these means energy.” then, i smirked.

even though my question haven’t been answered [up til today] rest assured that when the day has come and it’s finally answered, i’m already running out of time. but weird enough, the answer to this question always differ when asked. may be it is meant to be this way, im not so sure… not too sure.

im leaving

it wasnt an easy decision to make... to leave all these behind, to learn new things that awaits me, to meet new ppl and understands them, to start all over again...

82 days in the countdown and i've already missed them.. 2 years, some less, but the times that we've spent together seems to be more than that! we have had our ups and downs, shouted and laughed, jokes and sharing problems, helping each other. i wonder how would it will turned out to be out there... i knew that the person that i will miss the most will be her... she thought me a lot of things, some which are not even related to what im doing but i still think that it's ok... she's became like a 'big sister' to me. the one that i would go to when im confused/have queries.. some ppl thinks that i'm like a duplication of her when she was young! it's quite fun but when i think about it again, it scares me a little...

if i'm like a duplication of her, i should be like her, or even better.. sometimes i want to be like her but we must understand that each and every individual in this system is different, and special in their own way so there's no way im gonna end up exactly like her! but i would proudly announce - if someone asks - that she is the one who thought me this, and that. im gonna make her proud of me one day, to prove to the others that they were wrong about my ability of doing things. because i know she have faith in me.