time is running out

caught up with my long-lost friend yesterday… it’s been a long… long time ever since we had our teh-o-ais together… i missed how we used o see each other EVERYDAY, how we used to annoy each other, laugh at each other’s joke, how I miserably easily learned ‘the-skill/art-of-liquid-dance’ from him [hiakhiakhiak]!!!

yea.. those were the days, when everything seems to be on my side, everything was so well ‘written’, everything’s just… beautiful. but somehow, these ‘perfect-moments’ have slipped away, like how the sands got washed away by the waves of the ocean, but to me, it’s more like how i got the sand out from my eye.

to become who we are, and to become who we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life. and if you can’t change fate, change your attitude! it is what i’ve done, words that i chose to pronounce, decisions that i’ve made, brought me here today, believing that life is just like a silver-screen. all of us, we’re the actors/actresses – indeed, we play our own main role/character, as we the center of everything that evolve around us – here. the locations that we chose to visit, sceneries were captured in one corner of our mind just like a wallpaper as our screensaver on our desktop. sounds were ‘recorded’ and just like what my friend charlotte has said in one of her post, every different song gives you a different feeling and it brings you back to that very moment you’ve experienced before. you may feel good about it, and at times, it will just f*ck your day up.

i believe that each and everyday that we’re going thru – even now, at this very moment – is reversed. whatever we say or do has already been said and done. it is funny when speaking thinking writing about this, i know…

i remember one night, about 4 or 5 years ago, i spent about an hour or so with a friend of mine, thinking about thinking, talking about what we have just talked about. and we came across this question, which i’d never thought anyone would even ask themselves about, since i was 12. [!?]

“why me?” i asked.

“what why you? now. why me?” my friend asked.

“i mean, why is it me. like why am i feeling what i feel, seeing what i see, hearing what i hear... u get me?”

“yea, i think so… it’s like a feeling u cant express, u cant explain why. u just need all these to survive.”

silence…

“i’d say… we’re all like batteries. we need these to generate the entire system that we’re living in. these means energy.” then, i smirked.

even though my question haven’t been answered [up til today] rest assured that when the day has come and it’s finally answered, i’m already running out of time. but weird enough, the answer to this question always differ when asked. may be it is meant to be this way, im not so sure… not too sure.