it might be you

some people dont appreciate what u do.
some people dont realize how good they got it.
some people think they are always right and you are always wrong.
some people don't know how to hold their respect down for u like u do for them.
some people don't get everything through their head till its too late.
those people don't realize how short life is or can be.
and why people say to live it to the fullest.
and those people end up getting treated the way they're suppose to
where everything gets switched around and they're the ones that are hurting.
and if you are one of these people...
you wont believe this that you're reading right now.
the only thing you will believe is "it will never happen to me..."
..but just wait and see...

i loved you once, but i hate you now..

at times we were the best of friends, the worst of enemies and the greatest of lovers. we were made for each other you told me. we would always be together, you would always be by my side, to wipe away my tears when i cried.

at first i denied the fact that people as young as us could be in love. but then as the time we spent together increased, you showed me how wrong i was. i believed that you were someone that i would be willing to share the rest of my life with.

i slap myself now for being so clueless and for forgetting the most important lesson that my mother had always taught me, a guy would do and say anything to be your first, she was right.

i loved you once, but i hate you now, i will never forget how you used & treated me. but now as i look back, i have to thank you for showing me how wrong i was to love someone as useless like you. thank you.

my only love sprung out of hatred

may be im dying now

how i wish im not here

for the pain is so real

leaving me with tears



the road i walked was so blur

no light shining here

only darkness leading me

and im trapped with fears



my dreams are falling apart

tearing me part, by part

there's no hope in me

my faith vanished in the air



each days are still the same

my soul is crying for help

slowly... passing away

for i didn't care

song without words

tired - yet i cant sleep
wounded - yet i cant weep
sinful - yet i cant pray
o god hear the words i cant say
certain - yet im afraid
going - yet ive stayed
faithful - yet untrue
sorrowful - yet not sad
happy - and yet not glad
searching - yet i didnt know the way
o god cant you please teach and lead me day by day?

27 april 2000

a lot of nonsense

a lot of fuss
a lot of people
a lot of time
a lot of troubles
a lot of tears
a lot of money
and all for what?
a little body!!

a blob of proteins
fast unwinding
a little corpse
quick decaying
no longer is it
dear father, mother
or any darling other
in spite of this
we might have
consolations and coffins
parties and mournings
rites and rituals
buried or burnt
processions and tombstones
embalmed forever
all for these little body
bloated bodies
sons remember
grandsons little
and after them
are the dead forgotten
stones and bones
alone remaining
so is this not
a lot of nonsense??

21 june 2000