time is running out

caught up with my long-lost friend yesterday… it’s been a long… long time ever since we had our teh-o-ais together… i missed how we used o see each other EVERYDAY, how we used to annoy each other, laugh at each other’s joke, how I miserably easily learned ‘the-skill/art-of-liquid-dance’ from him [hiakhiakhiak]!!!

yea.. those were the days, when everything seems to be on my side, everything was so well ‘written’, everything’s just… beautiful. but somehow, these ‘perfect-moments’ have slipped away, like how the sands got washed away by the waves of the ocean, but to me, it’s more like how i got the sand out from my eye.

to become who we are, and to become who we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life. and if you can’t change fate, change your attitude! it is what i’ve done, words that i chose to pronounce, decisions that i’ve made, brought me here today, believing that life is just like a silver-screen. all of us, we’re the actors/actresses – indeed, we play our own main role/character, as we the center of everything that evolve around us – here. the locations that we chose to visit, sceneries were captured in one corner of our mind just like a wallpaper as our screensaver on our desktop. sounds were ‘recorded’ and just like what my friend charlotte has said in one of her post, every different song gives you a different feeling and it brings you back to that very moment you’ve experienced before. you may feel good about it, and at times, it will just f*ck your day up.

i believe that each and everyday that we’re going thru – even now, at this very moment – is reversed. whatever we say or do has already been said and done. it is funny when speaking thinking writing about this, i know…

i remember one night, about 4 or 5 years ago, i spent about an hour or so with a friend of mine, thinking about thinking, talking about what we have just talked about. and we came across this question, which i’d never thought anyone would even ask themselves about, since i was 12. [!?]

“why me?” i asked.

“what why you? now. why me?” my friend asked.

“i mean, why is it me. like why am i feeling what i feel, seeing what i see, hearing what i hear... u get me?”

“yea, i think so… it’s like a feeling u cant express, u cant explain why. u just need all these to survive.”

silence…

“i’d say… we’re all like batteries. we need these to generate the entire system that we’re living in. these means energy.” then, i smirked.

even though my question haven’t been answered [up til today] rest assured that when the day has come and it’s finally answered, i’m already running out of time. but weird enough, the answer to this question always differ when asked. may be it is meant to be this way, im not so sure… not too sure.

it might be you

some people dont appreciate what u do.
some people dont realize how good they got it.
some people think they are always right and you are always wrong.
some people don't know how to hold their respect down for u like u do for them.
some people don't get everything through their head till its too late.
those people don't realize how short life is or can be.
and why people say to live it to the fullest.
and those people end up getting treated the way they're suppose to
where everything gets switched around and they're the ones that are hurting.
and if you are one of these people...
you wont believe this that you're reading right now.
the only thing you will believe is "it will never happen to me..."
..but just wait and see...

words unspoken

it was true all along
you don't know what you got til its gone
i can't believe i let u go
i wanted me n u to grow
i had so much to tell u
no one can make me do the things u make me do
when I cried you were there
when I thought i was alone
you'd always say baby im here

you were the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
i'm sorry,cant you see?
i need your loving arms
i need your charm
in other words i need you
and i promise ill never hurt you
you're my babyboy
not my toy
but don't walk away
cause i have somethin to say

if you leave then that means my words are unspoken
and they say hearts are usually broken with words unspoken

i loved you once, but i hate you now..

at times we were the best of friends, the worst of enemies and the greatest of lovers. we were made for each other you told me. we would always be together, you would always be by my side, to wipe away my tears when i cried.

at first i denied the fact that people as young as us could be in love. but then as the time we spent together increased, you showed me how wrong i was. i believed that you were someone that i would be willing to share the rest of my life with.

i slap myself now for being so clueless and for forgetting the most important lesson that my mother had always taught me, a guy would do and say anything to be your first, she was right.

i loved you once, but i hate you now, i will never forget how you used & treated me. but now as i look back, i have to thank you for showing me how wrong i was to love someone as useless like you. thank you.